The Ex-Stoner Adventures
by jenxmeow
Summary: There were several distinct possibilities that could potentially blossom from this rather extreme event; the zombie apocalypse, hell freezing over, pigs start flying, or perhaps nothing at all. You may be wondering what this "rather extreme" event is. But if I told you now, my story wouldn't be as interesting. OOC, AH, canon couples


Introduction

There were several distinct possibilities that could potentially blossom from this rather extreme event; the zombie apocalypse, hell freezing over, pigs start flying, or perhaps nothing at all.

You may be wondering what this "rather extreme" event is. But if I told you now, my story wouldn't be as interesting. I best save that for much later.

I should probably start from the beginning as you probably have no idea what I'm even blathering on about, so let's get crackin'.

* * *

><p>My name is Bella Marie Swan and I don't know what to do with myself. After browsing several employment websites, I just didn't have enough experience to get a decent offer. Graduation was a month ago and the pressures of finding a suitable career is growing to the point where I just want to throw my hands up and declare to the world that I just don't give a fuck anymore and being a stripper is a perfectly fine career.<p>

Graduating with a bachelor's in the puppet arts isn't exactly popular with employers and I'm seriously starting to question the decision. To be completely honest, I was probably high off my ass when I made the notion to apply the University of Connecticut solely because of their puppet arts major. Yup, I was quite the stoner in high school.

Quite impressive considering the fact that my father, Charlie, is the police chief of our tiny town Forks. Extreme tactics had been used in smuggling the goods into the Swan household, involving anywhere from hollowed textbooks to carrier pigeons.

You might be wondering why I had stuck with the puppet arts when I could've changed majors at any time. Long story short, Charlie wasn't very pleased with my choice in pursuing puppetry, and had made me promise that I would stick with it or 'there would be serious consequences, young lady'. Luckily, the puppet arts were enlightening, weird, and at times fun.

Although I wasn't particularly passionate about the puppet arts, I did enjoy most of my classes. But the real challenge now is to find an employer that won't laugh in my face when they get to the part about my education.

I knew that finding a job would be tricky after college, so I had decided that location wasn't going to be a problem as long as the general population spoke English. A few days before, I had met up with my career counselor one last time to discuss my future career options.

"Ms. Swan, due to your unconventional major, I understand that location won't be a problem for you. Correct?" Mrs. Cope peered over her orange spectacles. "Yes, of course." I replied, shifting slightly in the uncomfortable blue chair.

"Alright then, I've contacted theater companies, a few museums, and corporations looking for assistants in New York, Toronto, London, Seattle, and Houston. You have interviews via Skype in the next few days. I've compiled a list for your reference." She slides over a crisp piece of paper with a list of said companies and museums along with times and whatnot.

The interviews went swimmingly and thankfully none of the people I had dealt with had questioned my unconventional major. As a result of my interviews I had gotten several offers from New York, Seattle, and London. After calling Charlie to confirm that my college edumacation wasn't in vain, Charlie had stated that he would support me wherever I decided to go.

It took me a few days to draw up the pros and cons of each location after plenty of research. I honestly didn't have much opposition towards each city. I had spent some time in Seattle whenever Charlie decided to make a spontaneous weekend trip, but in the end I thought it would be much more beneficial for me to live in a foreign city.

Branching out would be good for building character. London was a bit too far from home and visiting Charlie would become more of a hassle with long flights and whatnot. So that just leaves New York. I've always loved New York, ever since I was just a wee lass, New York seemed like the best city in the world.

I had visited New York once on winter break when Angela (my roommate at the time) had suggested that we spend a few days there before flying back to our families. The busy, fast-paced environment just felt _right. _

So it was decided. I'm going to move to New York City (specifically Manhattan) to become an assistant at some fashion magazine. Although I didn't have much knowledge about fashion, I was organized, articulate, punctual, and hardworking. Qualities that were great for being an assistant.

I was slightly grateful that it didn't have anything to do with puppets, I had no desire whatsoever to have a job that revolved around the puppet arts for fifty fucking years.

After calling said fashion magazine to confirm that I would accept their offer, my fate was sealed. I'm officially moving to New York City after crashing with my friend Felix, an upperclassman I had met in my sophomore year for a solid month.

**Whew, I must admit that I'm a bit apprehensive to put this up, simply because I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I realize it's a bit short, but it's just an introduction to get the ball rolling. I've put up several fics on this account before, but I've always taken them down because they weren't on par with my standards. I'm older now, so hopefully my writing has also matured. **

**I really hope to complete this fic within the next year or so, but be warned that I may go months without updating because of school and lack of inspiration. I will however finish this fic, even if it takes me ten years. With that said, I hope you liked this brief intro and will stick around for awhile! **

**PS: If you review, please tell me what you would like to see in this fic and any constructive criticism you may have. It's greatly appreciated and will help motivate me into writing quicker :) **


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